Beyond His Years
Travel Basketball: Josh, Zach, Aaron, Michael
It not something you ever put on the radar as possible. One of your best friends getting cancer at 15 years old. It was definitely scary when the news came to all of us. At the same time, I was 15 there was always still this feeling that everything was going to be ok in the end. Nothing that bad can really happen. We were kids.
Initially it really did seem to be going that way. After some initial battles, he was in remission. Ready to lace the shoes back up and get back on the court with us.
CYO Football: Josh, Aaron, Michael, Zach
Then it came back. I was a little older, but no less blindly confident. Our boy wasn’t going anywhere. He fooled us better than our own ignorance could. Nothing bad could ever happen. We saw him nearly every day while he battled through chemo. He was at practice with a more positive attitude than ever. The life of every room he walked into. Talking shop in the locker room. Bustin balls and making everyone laugh. We knew he was battling. We also knew he was winning. There was little worry. He was more worried about us beating Medina than the multiple surgeries he had coming shortly. The blind confidence of his invincibility was only a result of his pure strength to let nothing affect him.
(All Time Favorite) District Tournament Game. Josh, David, Ryan
Trying to recall years later now, the cancer now just seems like a blurr. In and out of remission multiple times. Even when he was in remission, he was battling other stuff. I can barely even remember when he had cancer and didn’t. As horrible as it sounds, it just become the normal. Surgery here, surgery there. This procedure that procedure.
School Dance: Ryan, Michael, Josh, Zach, Zak, Aaron
Graduation: Josh, Aaron, Ryan
It’s so blurry because the only thing I remember now is his unbelievable spirit at all times. During chemo, post surgery, broken leg or not; I remember him being at our practice and games. I remember him being at school. Losing hair and shifting weight during chemo was seemingly no deterrent to his spirit among us. He was still the funniest guy in every room. Even when he was battling harder and we would visit him in the hospital, he never made it a big deal. Joking with the nurses and doctors with tubes and wires all around him. He was always just trying to have a good time. Always 100% present.
We had some fucking amazing times. Him being by our side winning basketball games. I was able to watch him pitch his senior year of baseball. Whether he was in pain, battling or not; we couldn’t see it. He was one of us and with us.
What I remember is he was always the one trying to do more. After practice, “lets go to chipotle”, “lets go scout Highland”, “lets go get some wings”. He would start huge march madness brackets, play fantasy sports, start a podcast, work jobs, review movies, coach youth baseball, stat baseball games, do these insane sport analysis twitter posts. He was always leading for more. Doing more. Pushing everyone around him.
He became absolute show around people. His energy was infectious. Never ending jokes and banter with everyone. From the teachers and principles in the school to the little youth basketball kids we would coach. You couldn’t help but laugh with him. Nobody was seemingly living with less stress and care in the world. Charismatic as shit.
He was the one battling cancer, somehow had more energy and life in him than any of us.
How could there be a doubt.
“When you die, it does not mean that you lose to cancer. You beat cancer by how you live, why you live, and in the manner in which you live.”
Then one day we woke up to the call that it’s not all going to be ok.
After nearly two months of battling in the hospital,
May 5th 2019. 5 years ago today. We lost him
Winning Conference Championship: Michael, Josh, Tori, Zach, Aaron
Seemingly every year these couple months in spring are never easy. Part of me is ashamed that I never feel like I appreciated the strength that he put on display every day enough. Another part of me hopes that he got what he wanted around us. For things to feel normal in his world of chaos. If I had to guess, there was a lot more pain than I or anyone else could ever see. He sold it to me. His resiliency shines through. Despite him battling for 7 years, now all I remember is him just being one of the guys. All the tougher days overshadowed by the amazing days.
It’s a testament to his family as well. As the battles extended to them. Just as strong. Never wavering.
I know internally my life definitely changed after his passing. A lot of reality surely set in. The reflection is inevitable. Opposed to before, the clock of life now exists. Tik-Tok. Counting down on a timeline of unknown length. An immense pressure, that never existed before. Everything that you thought you knew about life over 21 years, now seemingly in question. Cluttering disaster of thought. Redefining the lines of what is important and what is a waste of time. A true paradigm shift.
A reality he lived in everyday, but was able to concur.
“If there’s one thing I’ve learned in life, it’s to fight. Fight for what’s right. Fight for what you believe in, what’s important to you. But most importantly, fight for the ones you love, and never forget to tell how much they mean to you while they’re still alive.”
Winning District Championship Game against Medina: Josh
Now I recollect regularly in admiration and greater clarity. As we was the shining example that I got the privilege of witnessing firsthand. At such a young age, he had it all figured out. While the rest of us kids were focused on the little things, he was focused on the right things. A blueprint being executed right in front of us with all the chips stacked against him. The shit we all strive for our whole lives, but can never get right:
Smiling
Positive energy.
Gratitude
The Energy to do things
Living his passions
Never complaining
Battling Adversity
Fighting hard
Always surrounding himself with people he loved
Living with Emotions
Being Confident
Enjoying every day
Winning Every Day.
He reminds me this time of the year to count my blessings. I learned at 21 years old neither me, my family, or my friends are invincible. Life is fragile and tragic. I among many others experienced it first-hand. Tomorrow is never guaranteed. I try to better focus on winning the days as he did, knowing that any one of them could be my last. I try to live with gratitude and positive energy, through pain and resistance. I try to surround myself with great people, flooding myself with my passions. I try to remain unapologetic in my emotions; remembering that there is never a better time to tell someone you love and appreciate them, than right now. I try to be half the man of my friend, teammate and brother:
Josh Herron.
Gone but Never Forgotten - RIP 5/5/2019
